EMOTIONAL STABILITY WITH A GALLON OF GRATITUDE

BY: ANN RUSTRUM

I am going to share on a topic that I am continually growing in and learning about and that is emotional stability. I added “with a gallon of gratitude” because a grateful heart is a key way to keeping things in perspective. I’m going to start with a memory of a Christmas 3 years ago.

I remember it well… I was holding my hot cocoa and after tromping through the same Christmas tree farm that our family goes to every year for what felt like hours, our kids spotted it, the perfect tree! We didn’t realize the problem until we got home. The problem: when we cut down the tree, even though it was a straight cut, the tree had grown with a big time lean. No problem! We can jimmy rig it in the stand. Although not perfectly steady, we brought it in the house and pushed it in the corner so you couldn’t really see the lean. I decorated it for hours (this one is Momma’s tree to decorate – the kid’s tree is upstairs) and it was beautiful. I’m not kidding – Pinterest worthy! All those clearance Home Goods bulbs from the after Christmas sales last year were just perfect. That night my husband, Tye, went out with some guy friends and I put the kids to bed. I went down to admire my tree, in all its glory, and headed to bed. About 30 minutes later, I heard the garage door open and to my absolute horror I heard another noise. A huge crash followed immediately by shattering glass. You know when you know something, but you are in total denial. That was me. I ran downstairs and there she was, my tree, lying on the floor, glass bulbs shattered, ribbon everywhere, water pouring out of the base. I heard Tye’s car door shut and I opened the door to the garage. There was Tye, happy as ever, until he sees me. This is where my lack of emotional stability kicked in. “You made the tree fall when you opened the garage!!!! I’m sooooo mad!” I proceeded to fully display my lack of emotional stability for the next 30 minutes.

We all have things in life that throw us for a loop, especially this year. I’m going to give you 4 simple tips that have helped me with emotional stability.

4 Simple Tips that have Helped Me with Emotional Stability

1. Adjust your Perspective – Practice Gratitude Every Day
For those of you who are parents, do you ever find yourself being extremely convicted when you’re guiding your kids? I sure do, but there is a trick that we’ve implemented with our kids that works for us as adults as well. Practicing gratitude. When my kids are upset because of the dinner we made them, it’s immediately 5 things they’re grateful for. When there is a conflict with each other or with friends – before resolving the conflict – 5 things they’re grateful for about each other. Gratitude is a magnet for miracles when it comes to emotional stability. Trust me on this one; it is much easier to be positive when you are coming from a perspective of gratitude.

2. Know you’re in Control of your Actions, your Thought Life and Input.
Emotions ARE valid, but they don’t have to control you. Sometimes our 7-year-old son, Brody will say “You’re making me throw a tantrum because you won’t let me have 10 pieces of leftover Halloween candy”. My response is, “You can feel your emotions Brody, but they don’t control your actions, you do!” What tantrums do I throw in life when I should be in complete control? What is the input I’ve been getting? How did I start my day? One small positive thought in the morning can change the whole day. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. I like to be very intentional with this. For example, am I opening a news app or my devotional app? Am I immediately opening my 57 new e-mails and reacting or am I taking 5 minutes to breath deep and have gratitude for a new day. Am I listening to a positive audio or music or a negative audio or music. Control your input and it will lead to your thought life and eventually your actions. I heard this story years ago and it is such a good visual that I wanted to share it with you.

What’s in Your Cup?

You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere. Why did you spill the coffee? “Well because someone bumped into me, of course!”

Wrong answer.

You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup. Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea. Whatever is inside the cup, is what will spill out. Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which WILL happen), whatever is inside you will come out. It’s easy to fake it, until you get rattled.

So we have to ask ourselves… “what’s in my cup?” When life gets tough, what spills over? Joy, gratefulness, peace and humility? Or anger, bitterness, harsh words and reactions?

You choose!

Today let’s work towards filling our cups with the good stuff. That leads to my next tip…

3. Surround Yourself with Good People

If you grew up watching Winnie the Pooh, you know eeyore and tigger. Eeyore is the gray and lowly donkey. He is always sad and down, and he even talks that way. Tigger, on the other hand, is the definition of excitement. He bounces into the seen and sees the best in everything. Have you thought about the people you surround yourself with? If you keep surrounding yourself with toxic and emotionally unstable people, that’s exactly who you’ll become. So take a good look at the company you’re keeping and evaluate whether or not they’re adding value to your life or devaluing it.I have a lot of “Aunties” in my life. One of them is Auntie Debbie, she is my husband’s vivacious, joyful, beautiful inside and out aunt. No matter the circumstances, she is a positive 100. She lights up the room with her presence when she walks in – excited to see you, huge hugs, has genuine compliments about you. I have another Auntie, who shall remain nameless, who is the exact opposite. She is actually my friends aunt and I’ve known her forever. With her, nothing is ever good enough. “Sure, it’s Christmas, but it’s raining outside like it always is”, “Traffic was bad”, “Your candle smells cheap” (real examples, I might add). She has a problem for every solution, if you know what I mean.I like to ask myself, which Auntie am I? Does the room light up when I walk into it or when I leave it? Do I let the circumstances and my emotions control my actions or do I choose to make the best of whatever is going on? And finally, do I surround myself with Auntie Debbies or Aunties who shall remain nameless? The people you surround yourself with rub off on you more than anything else.

4. CHOOSE Happiness

We have a big sign in our hallway that says, “Happiness is not a destination. It is a way of life.” The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they make the best of everything. Remember, no one has the ability to control your actions unless you let them. YOU are in control of your actions. I’m not saying to be numb. God created, especially us ladies, to be emotional beings. My prayer for myself and for you is that we can channel that emotion into happiness, kindness, encouragement, gratitude, joy, and above all LOVE.One of my favorite quotes, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” – Maya Angelo. Especially during this holiday season, let’s put on those positive pants!! Merry Christmas everyone!

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